Please read my piece on Putin and why he had to do what he did. All that you are suggesting is what the Russians have been trying to do since 2007. They tried everything to come up with a "common European security framework" - one that "respected the sovereignty and the security needs of every nation". The West would have none of it, They rejected every proposal Putin put forward. The final one, that Russia proposed in December 2021, was simply ignored.

The UN Security Council rejected Russia's proposal to address the problems in the Donbas.

The West and Ukraine signed the Minsk Accords but then refused to implement them - instead using the negotiations to "buy time" in order to build up, train and arm Ukraine to fight Russia.

The military operation was the very last resort - the only way left for Putin to safeguard Russia's vital national interests. It was the only avenue left open for him - every other way had been slammed shut by the US and the West.